


Lost Time

by MittenWraith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Newly Human Castiel, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 19:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16625447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MittenWraith/pseuds/MittenWraith
Summary: Dean figured Cas was only trying to let him down easy. He needed a little bit of time to figure out how to deal with it.





	Lost Time

**Author's Note:**

> I've got two longer fics that I'm waiting to post (holiday fic and pinefest fic), and was scrolling through my To Be Written list for something I could write and post right away. I stumbled across [this post on tumblr](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/173681098950/i-saw-a-writing-prompt-that-went-like-this-you) and decided it needed expanding a bit...

“She’s definitely interested, Cas,” Dean said for the second time since he’d slid into the diner’s booth and tugged Cas down beside him by the sleeve of his coat, ostensibly to covertly instruct Cas on proper flirting techniques yet again.

Sam rolled his eyes and tried to hide behind his menu, despite having already read it through twice and settled on the Cobb salad. It was better than watching his brother torment his best friend. He’d learned it was futile to interfere with Dean’s  _ teachable moments _ the night before, at the diner they’d stopped at for dinner before crashing out in a motel outside Winslow, Arizona. They’d finished off a particularly nasty nest of chupacabra and then driven a hundred miles to get out of town before Dean had made the executive decision they needed to take a break and rest. Sam had been relieved, and maybe even a little bit proud of his brother for recognizing his limits. It was a pleasant change from years of Sam practically begging him to stop for the night when they were both half dead on their feet from exhaustion.

His pride had shriveled up like a sad balloon animal after they’d checked into their motel, showered, and headed to the 24 hour diner across the road. The waitress on duty in the middle of the night had been pleasant enough, Sam observed, but not exactly Dean’s usual type. She was closer to fifty than thirty, but Sam had noticed Dean sizing her up before giving Cas the strangest look he’d ever seen cross his brother’s face. Sam saw something like heartbreak flash through Dean’s eyes before he swallowed hard and plastered on a painfully hearty smile. The waitress had told them to seat themselves, so Dean winked at her and then sauntered to a comfortable if worn booth in the corner.

And now Dean had pulled the same ploy of dragging Cas onto the bench beside him, and then devoting all his attention into subtly-- or really not subtly at all-- trying to encourage Cas to flirt with the waitress. At least this afternoon’s diner wasn’t quite as uncomfortably deserted as last night’s, when it had been just them, the waitress, and the cook in back. They were also more than six hundred miles closer to home, now, and the early afternoon lunch rush was only just beginning to taper off at the truck stop diner that was still unusually crowded in Dean’s opinion, which he shared repeatedly.

❂❂❂❂❂❂

“Welcome to Kit Carson’s,” the tired but smiling waitress had greeted them with. “Find yourselves a free table and I’ll be with you in two shakes.”

“Take all the shakes you need, Layla,” Dean had replied after spotting her name tag, only his wink and smile had been directed at Cas before he turned back to her and pointed out an empty booth in the corner. “We’ll be getting comfortable right over there.”

She’d grinned at them, and then smiled sympathetically at Sam’s exasperated sigh before running off to deliver her tray of drinks to another table. When they sat, Dean surveyed the crowd wondering just how much he could get away with. He’d seen the sign for this place twenty miles back down the highway and decided he couldn’t pass up the chance to eat at a diner called Kit Carson’s. He’d been quietly holding out hope that it might be full of the sort of frontier kitsch that he’d loved about Dodge City. It had been a long hunt, he was exhausted and just wanted to get home, but spending an hour in a place all decked out with old west memorabilia would’ve definitely given him the shot of endorphins he needed to make it the rest of the way through Colorado and Kansas. Not to mention, yammering on about cowboys and the wild west would’ve been the perfect excuse to keep Cas’s attention in a completely nonthreatening way.

The place disappointingly turned out to be indistinguishable from any other truck stop diner, and he’d grumbled under his breath about misleading advertising and gullible tourists as he got out of the car. He would’ve pressed on and found somewhere else to eat lunch, but at that point he just wanted to get fed and back on the road home. The fact he’d had to poke Cas awake in the back seat had been enough to at least get him smiling again before they’d gone inside. Poor thing was still getting used to hunting human and needing to sleep at all, and even if he’d never say it out loud, Dean thought he was adorable when he was all sleep ruffled and disoriented. It made Dean's life exceedingly difficult.

Dean was tired of using his standard excuse for pulling Cas close in public. He knew the act was wearing thin with Sam by the eye rolling masterclass his brother had given the night before, but it was a defense mechanism for Dean at this point, and he had no idea how else to work around it. It’s not like he could just sit there and flirt with Cas himself, so as best he could, he played it off as teaching Cas how to flirt instead. The pros included sitting next to Cas, leaning in close to impart his wisdom, having an excuse to focus most of his attention on Cas, and consequently having an excuse for why he never flirted with waitress and bartenders himself anymore. Not to mention Sam was keeping his eyeballs limber and in peak form. It was a compelling list of advantages.

Unfortunately, the cons were heavily weighted, as well. Between having to force himself to encourage Cas to flirt with other people and playing the role of cheerful wingman when he’d much rather Cas apply all this flirting education with him, he was probably tempting fate into eventually rewarding him with an aneurysm, or at least an ulcer.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to make inroads in that direction-- with the flirting, not the aneurysm. Hell, he’d been trying to make inroads with Cas for years. And then Cas finally chose earth over Heaven once and for all, and he’d thought maybe things could change. He’d gone easy at first, giving Cas a chance to adjust to humanity again, being as helpful and accommodating as possible and attempting to lay his feelings out gradually. But Cas had been human again for weeks now and hadn’t picked up on any of Dean’s dropped hints. Dean had absolutely convinced himself by that point that Cas might just not be interested in him that way at all, and he’d come to the conclusion that it would be less personally agonizing to resign from the field than to push Cas into unequivocally declaring the fact out loud. Some things were just better left unsaid.

Resignation, it turned out, was not a good look on Dean.

When Layla returned to bring them water and menus, Dean gave Cas a raised eyebrow and a little nudge with his elbow. Cas blinked a little sleepily at him as a menu landed on the table in front of him, and he glanced up at Layla in surprise.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” she said with an apologetic smile and a glance at Dean. “Didn’t mean to startle you outta your reverie, there. Can I get y’all something to drink?”

“Iced tea for me, thanks,” Sam said, opening his menu.

“I’ll take a coke,” Dean replied, returning his attention immediately to Cas and smiling fondly at him, encouraging him to put one of his lessons in flirting into practice while Layla waited patiently for their order.

Cas leaned forward and looked over at the soda fountain to see what was on offer, and then slumped back into his seat, swaying into Dean’s shoulder as he did. “I’ll have Dr. Pepper.”

Layla gave a nod and headed off to pour their drinks.

“Dr. Pepper, huh?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded, picking up his menu and defending his beverage choice. “There are 23 different flavors in Dr. Pepper, and I’m still enjoying the fact that I can’t identify them all.” He set down the menu and smiled delightedly up at Dean. “Before, I could’ve distinguished all the molecular compounds and made a list, but now I can actually taste the flavors, and it’s a novel challenge to separate them out at all.”

“Kinda like translating the experience into a new language, huh?” Dean replied.

A look of quiet wonder crossed Cas’s face and then he smiled. “Yes, I’d say that’s an excellent way to think of it.”

Dean let himself gaze at Cas for a moment, drinking in the quiet happiness radiating off of him. Out the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Layla returning with their drinks and realized he’d forgotten his mission. He was doing a shit job of burying his feelings, and he hadn’t even cracked his menu open. After a lifetime of eating in diners, he figured he couldn’t go wrong ordering a burger, so he spent the last ten seconds before she arrived nudging Cas’s foot under the table and giving a little tilt of his head in Layla’s direction. Cas blinked and cleared his throat, before turning to smile pleasantly at their waitress.

She set down their drinks and Cas took a sip and closed his eyes to better focus on the flavors while Layla pulled out her notepad and pen. “Are you boys ready to order?”

Cas swallowed hard and opened his eyes, giving her a guilty little shrug. “I haven’t looked at the menu yet.”

Dean couldn’t help grinning at Cas as he picked up his menu again and showed Layla that he was taking care of his error immediately. He draped an arm around Cas’s shoulders in what he sincerely hoped looked like a gesture of brotherly solidarity and smiled up at Layla. “We’ve been on the road a long time today. Just give us another minute or two, and we promise we’ll be ready when you swing back around.”

“I promise,” Cas told her sincerely.

Layla gave him a little wink, smiled at Sam, and then walked to the next table to check on her other customers. Dean took a deep breath, then pulled his arm from Cas’s warm shoulders and focused on his own menu. As soon as he saw the word cheeseburger, he put the menu down and leaned into Cas. He needed to stay in the game.

“I think she’s interested in you, buddy,” he said under his breath, but loud enough for Sam to hear judging by the way he shifted in his seat and sighed.

“Hmm?” Cas replied, not looking up from his study of the menu.

“The waitress. Layla,” Dean supplied. When Cas tore his eyes from his menu to give Dean a puzzled look, he desperately tried to remind himself that it was not cute at all and forced himself to repeat it. “She’s definitely interested, Cas.”

Sam groaned audibly this time and pulled his menu up to cover his face, even though Dean knew his eyeballs were going through their full 360 degree circuit. He felt like rolling his own eyes at himself, but Dean had committed, and it wasn’t like there was any real danger in Cas and Layla running off to get married or anything. Dean shuddered at the thought anyway and reminded himself they were getting back on the road as soon as they were done eating, and there was no harm in letting Cas get a little practice in so he’d be ready for… for whatever… someday. Hopefully in the far distant future, so Dean could continue to torment himself with this farce as long as it meant Cas would let him be even this close. He cleared his throat.

“She winked at you, man,” he added when Cas glanced around the diner looking for the covert admirer Dean was describing. “She’s been smiling at you since we got here.”

“She’s a waitress, Dean. She smiles at all her customers,” Cas countered. “She smiled at you, as well. And at Sam. I think you’re mistaken.”

“Well it couldn’t hurt to give her a little game,” Dean replied. “Let her know you’re not just her average customer.”

“I think it’s best we just order and eat so we can get home before dinner. I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight,” he added, setting down his menu and stretching his back. “Sleeping in the car is uncomfortable.”

“Maybe Sammy will switch with you for a while and you can ride up front. Easier to stay awake.”

Sam grumbled something under his breath and then louder said, “Sure, Cas.”

“See, you’ll be good the rest of the ride home,” Dean said, patting Cas reassuringly on his leg as Layla arrived back at their table, again smiling at Cas.

“I hope you boys can live up to your promises,” she said, holding up her notepad and waiting for Cas to order.

“Ah, yes, I think I’ll have the BLT.”

“Good choice,” Layla replied, smiling approvingly at him before turning to Dean.

“Cheeseburger, extra onions.”

When Layla moved on to Sam, Dean nudged Cas’s foot and attempted to silently convey to Cas that he should make some sort of small talk with Layla. Either Cas was still too sleepy to understand or else he was being deliberately obtuse, though. Dean wasn’t sure which option he’d prefer.

“Cobb salad and a cup of tomato soup,” Sam said while Layla had picked up on the drama across the table.

“Sure thing. I’ll get this order right in.” She leaned over and quietly said to Sam, “Try not to be too impatient with them. I think they’re downright adorable.”

Dean was glad he hadn’t been drinking or he would’ve snorted soda out his nose. As it was, he nearly choked anyway, and Layla was gone, sashaying through the kitchen door with their order before he could stutter out a reply. Sam looked smug but thankfully kept his big moose mouth shut for once. Cas only looked confused.

“Was that a flirtation?” he asked Dean after a moment. “I don’t think that was a flirtation.”

Dean collected himself and put a few inches between himself and Cas. All this work to hide his own damn feelings from Cas and he wasn’t about to let it all go to hell in some boring-ass run of the mill diner in middle of nowhere Colorado. He could still salvage this if he played his cards right.

“It wasn’t  _ not _ a flirtation. And hey, she thinks you’re adorable. That’s a good start.”

“She thinks you’re both adorable,” Sam muttered, but Cas and Dean both continued to ignore him.

“When she comes back,” Dean pressed on, “just be... extra nice to her.”

Sam regretted that his menu was now gone, so he pulled out his phone to hide behind instead. It wasn’t nearly as effective.

“Extra nice?” Cas asked skeptically.

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean replied, exasperated with himself more than at Cas, but this game was growing less and less fun by the second now. “Say something to let her know you’re interested.”

At that moment, every sound in the diner screeched to a halt. The chatter of the other patrons, the ambient generic fifties music, the clatter of dishes and silverware-- even the clock above the kitchen pass through window-- it had all ceased. The only thing Dean could hear was the sound of his own startled inhalation, and the same shocked sound coming from Cas beside him. He was on immediate high alert, slowly looking around in search of whatever entity had apparently stopped time.

“What the fuck is going on?” Dean muttered under his breath, finally risking a glance at Sam. Sam, however, was just as frozen as everything else in the diner, with the most appalled face Dean had seen on his brother in years. “Guess they ain’t wrong about your face freezing like that…” he trailed off, recalling a case where something similar had happened, but dismissing the possibility that Jesse the Antichrist had become powerful enough to freeze time instead of just a random face here and there.

“I’m not sure,” Cas replied, startling Dean into banging his knee on the underside of the table.

“Jesus, Cas.”

Cas gave him a curious squint, and Dean gave him an apologetic grimace and sighed, squaring his shoulders and taking in the rest of the diner. A woman at the next booth over had a forkful of spaghetti raised to her mouth, and a big drop of red sauce suspended in midair eight inches above her lap. The woman working the counter had a half-filled glass of orange soda, the stream from the fountain frozen in place like a hundred different illusion gags he’d seen over the years. He took one more look at Sam, still staring blankly at him with the incredulous frown, and turned back to Cas.

“So it looks like it’s just you and me, huh?”

“It would seem so, yes,” Cas replied.

Cas picked up his drink, but the ice cubes didn’t clink around in the glass, and the bubbles were suspended in mid-fizz. He took a tentative sip and discovered that he was still able to drink it. After a moment of quiet contemplation, he set the glass down where it remained unchanged. The liquid didn’t even slosh in the cup.

“We can still interact with the environment to an extent, but we should be careful. The phenomenon might end as suddenly as it began. It could prove dangerous during our investigation.”

“So what exactly are we supposed to be investigating?” Dean asked, wadding up his napkin and tossing it at his brother’s forehead. Sam didn’t so much as flinch as the wad bounced off his face and landed on the table.

“We should probably find out if it’s just the diner that’s affected.”

“You got any idea what could pull this off?” Dean asked as he followed Cas out of the booth and they cautiously made their way toward the front door.

They paused to look through the pass through window into the kitchen where even the steam above the grill had ceased to curl, and the cook had been caught halfway through flipping a burger which now hung in the air at an odd angle six inches above the grill.

“I have a few theories,” Cas replied, gently easing himself around a man trapped in an odd looking crouch midway between standing and sitting at the table closest to the door. “I don’t understand why the two of us weren’t affected, though.”

“I know,” a familiar, cheerful voice said as they were halfway out the door.

“Jessica,” Dean said, instantly recognizing the reaper Billie had assigned to babysit them as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. “Did you do this?”

“No, only Billie has this kind of power.” She leaned in conspiratorially as if anyone was listening in. The only other people on the sidewalk outside the diner-- a mother and her young daughter frozen mid-step on their way to their car-- certainly couldn’t hear them. “The whole planet is stuck like this, by the way. The entire solar system, really. So she’s hoping this doesn’t take very long.”

Dean and Cas exchanged a slow, stunned glance with one another. Dean broke first. He’d learned the direct approach seemed to work best when dealing with Death, in any incarnation.

“Okay, so what does she want?”

Jessica smiled broadly. “She wants you to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Cas asked.

Jessica just shrugged. “She said you’d figure it out. I’m just the messenger here.”

“That’s not much of a message,” Dean grumbled.

“At least you won’t waste half the day trying to figure out who stopped the world. The rest is up to you.”

Dean gave her a skeptical look, but she just smiled and disappeared. He looked around as if he might still be able to find her, and then yelled to the sky, “What does it take to get a straight answer out of you?”

He wasn’t entirely sure he didn’t imagine it in the eerie silence, but he could’ve sworn he heard Billie laughing at him.

“Do you think there’s something in this town Billie wants us to investigate?” Cas offered hesitantly, looking around the small truckstop town. There wasn’t really much to the place to look at. It was more of a wide spot on the highway than an actual town.

“Guess we should at least look around.”

They set off side by side down the town’s main drag. Dean side-eyed a few cars that had ostensibly been going the speed limit before sticking in place. It made him hesitant to cross the street in case Billie was just looking for a quick excuse to off them both again. Easy enough to just restart time the second they stepped in front of a speeding semi. He shook that thought off as they walked past the diner, a gas station and convenience store, a small post office, and a school before coming to a neighborhood of a few dozen houses. Beyond that the land opened up into the same rocky, windswept terrain they’d been driving through most of the day.

It was hard to imagine that anyone lived in the little town at all amid the silent stillness. Dean looked up at the sky and noticed that even the few sparse clouds were frozen in place. Cas nudged him with his elbow and pointed out an eagle caught mid-dive about fifty yards away, its wings spread and its talons extended to capture whatever small prey was likely frozen on the ground below it, oblivious to its imminent fate.

“That’s not creepy at all,” Dean said, shuddering. “I don’t think that’s what Billie wanted us to find. At least I hope not.”

They turned back toward town and just stood there, staring for a minute or two and trying to take it all in. Cas eventually turned to Dean, and Dean shifted minutely to look at him without turning completely into him. That would definitely be too dangerous a move in the expansive silence. His pounding heartbeat felt loud in his own ears with no other sound to drown it out. This would absolutely be the most potentially catastrophic situation for him to lose the reins on his own stupid feelings.

“What?” he grunted out when Cas continued to stare at him.

“There doesn’t seem to be anything noteworthy to discover in the town itself.” Cas said it with conviction, as if he’d still had his wings and his mojo and could just flap off to examine the entire town down to its last atom in the blink of an eye.

“And?”

Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean. “Maybe it was something we said or did that Billie wants us to examine instead.”

Dean squirmed a bit at that, tearing his eyes from Cas to glance back over his shoulder at that eagle plunging out of the sky. He identified a hell of a lot with whatever small creature the bird had set its sights on, suspended in time in the final moments before its demise. When Death herself decided Dean personally needed a lesson bad enough to stop the entire solar system, it couldn’t possibly be a good thing. The fact he had no idea what that lesson could be didn’t help him one bit. He wasn’t sure if his current predicament was better or worse than the eagle’s lunch. Now Cas was apparently gonna start poking at him too. There was only one thing for him to do. Deflect.

“So why’s Sam stuck back in the diner with a look frozen on his face like we told him we were gonna step out and kick puppies for a while, instead of out here sharing in this existential crisis with us, huh?”

“It would seem that this problem only involves the two of us,” Cas said.

Dean couldn’t help the little frown he gave at that suggestion. He didn’t particularly like the implication that anything between himself and Cas could be filed under the heading of  _ problem _ . It’s what he spent most of his time worried about, letting his personal problem come between them.

Maybe Billie had finally decided to play this card, though. All the times he and Cas had fucked up her life… death… whatever it was reapers had… maybe she was finally cashing in on all their cosmic chips. Then again, it was easy enough to collect on a Winchester. All she had to do was wait for one of them to bite it-- or get bit-- and poof, adios, off to the Empty for them. She’s the one who sent him back last time he’d accidentally-on-purpose offed himself, and Cas had just waltzed out of the Empty a few hours after that. If she’d really wanted them to stay dead, Dean didn’t doubt she had the power to make that happen. So why fuck with them like this? She had to be up to something else, and that scared him even more than the prospect of being shattered into atoms and scattered across the universe. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore if there was no him left to worry about stuff. Deflection still seemed like the best option in lieu of imminent atomization.

“Do you think we have a problem?”

Cas squinted at him again, a barely there frown pinching his brow. He almost said something, but then closed his mouth, clearly uncomfortable, and turned back toward town. Dean didn’t think twice when Cas slowly began walking back toward the diner, sticking by his side on autopilot and waiting for him to answer.

“I think there’s things unsaid between us that I believe we’ve both been hesitant to address.”

Dean wasn’t sure whether he was more terrified or proud. That was some high quality hedging on Cas’s part, and it still hit way too close to the target. He didn’t have time to examine it more closely before Cas went on.

“I suppose we don’t really have a choice but to face it now, or we’re likely going to be trapped in this state for an eternity,” he said, waving a hand at a group of children kicking a soccer ball around the school’s playground, several of whom were suspended in gravity-defying positions around the field.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, frowning at the absurdity of the scene. “And it’s probably better to deal with it before Billie gets pissed off enough to show up herself.”

Dean clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut, debating with himself if it would be better to say this to Cas’s face or if it would be easier if he didn’t have to look directly at him. If he was gonna tear down more than ten years of the best friendship he’d ever had, he might as well get his full money’s worth. He took a deep breath and was about to speak when Cas took him by the arm and pulled him to a stop.

“Dean, I know this might not be welcome information, but I can’t imagine why Billie found it important enough to bring the entire universe to a halt over it. I had been content enough with the way things are that I didn’t see a point to burdening you with it.”

“Come on, man, you know you could never be a burden to me.”

The words had slipped out, but if Cas was about to tell him he hadn’t been hiding his feelings well enough, or if he’d made Cas uncomfortable in any way with his unwanted attentions, Dean had no idea how he’d cope with that burden. It wasn’t Cas’s fault Dean couldn’t get over him, after all. But that didn’t seem to be where Cas was heading and Dean wasn’t about to jump the gun and shoot himself in the foot.

Cas shrugged. “You’ve given me everything, Dean. You welcomed me into your family, your home, and in the billions of years I’ve existed, you are undoubtedly the best friend I’ve ever had. I’m terrified of losing that. Especially now.”

Dean just blinked at him for a moment, trying to recalculate his own expectations for how this conversation was going to go. He couldn’t fit that bit of information, or the pleading look on Cas's face, into any of the scenarios he’d imagined, all of which involved Cas letting him down-- gently or harshly, he’d steeled himself against the inevitability no matter how it played out. He couldn’t wrap his head around why Cas would think he wasn’t just as terrified of losing all of that. Dean may have been confused, but at least he could clear up that one point.

“Nothing could ever get in the way of that, Cas. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, you’re still the best friend I’ve ever had, too. I can’t imagine there’s anything you could say that would change that, okay?”

Dean noticed a slight tremble in Cas’s jaw, which he completely understood because he could feel his own hands shaking with tension. Cas nodded, studying Dean’s face like it was the last time he’d ever be allowed to and he needed to commit every freckle to memory.

Cas finally took a deep breath, looked him right in the eye and just said it. “I love you, Dean.”

For a second, Dean thought he’d succumbed to Billie’s spell when his heart stopped and his breath caught in his throat, but then he blinked and sucked in a huge breath. This was fine. This was good. It wasn’t something Cas hadn’t said before, that time he was dying and Dean had still been too chickenshit to say it back to him. He had to know, though. There was no way Cas didn’t know Dean loved him too, right? Even if he’d never said it, he’d been telling Cas for years that he needed him, laid his life down for him more times then he could count now. It had to be obvious.

But then he thought about his heart stopping when Cas had said the words to him, and he knew it wasn’t obvious. No amount of casual flirting, no amount of need, and no amount of self-sacrificing gestures were enough to convey the power those three little words had hit him with. Cas deserved no less.

“I love you, too, Cas.”

Cas’s mouth dropped open in shock. Dean wondered if Cas had collected up a similar set of expected reactions to the ones he'd had, and just had every last one of them shattered. Thank fuck Billie hadn’t fucked around with gravity when she decided to freeze time, or Dean was pretty sure Cas would’ve just shot off into the stratosphere, judging by the look on his face. They stared at one another with a mixture of wonder and terror, and if time hadn’t already been frozen, it certainly would’ve frozen in that moment.

Cas shook his head ever so slowly and swallowed hard. “It took me a long time to understand this, Dean. I don’t love you like the angel who rescued your soul from hell, or the friend you stood by, or like a brother.”

Dean listened, unable to speak and unwilling to stop Cas from continuing. He could, however do something to show Cas this wasn’t unwelcome or burdensome information. He slowly raised his hand to Cas’s shoulder, just for something to hold on to in case the world started up again beneath his feet and flung him off balance. Cas glanced down at his hand and then back up at his face, taking it as a reassurance from Dean to continue.

“I didn’t entirely understand this feeling at first. It took me years to define it, and even longer to accept it. I don’t just love you, Dean. I’m in love with you.”

Dean’s hand clenched around Cas’s shoulder. “Cas, why didn’t you say anything sooner? I mean, I thought maybe, after you decided to stay for good, you’d… you know…”

Cas just squinted at him, and Dean had to swallow a laugh, because of course he didn’t know. He’d probably figured himself out before finally touching down permanently and had been waiting for the right moment to express his feelings. Dean hadn’t really given him an opening, walking on eggshells around him the first couple weeks. Sure he’d been his usual charming self, but while Dean had been writing off Cas’s reactions as disinterest or discomfort, he probably should’ve considered that Cas would be at least as terrified of rejection as he’d been-- if not a thousand times more so.

Dean thought back over the last week or so, when he’d started ramping up the flirting lessons. At first it had been a last-ditch attempt to gauge Cas’s interest, but Cas had only seemed confused and maybe a bit flustered, so he’d backed off and redirected his efforts into helping Cas live his best life, even if it didn’t match up with Dean’s vision of happiness.

“The flirting…” Dean said aloud, trying to pinpoint where he’d gone wrong.

“By the time I began to believe that you’d been making advances toward me, you’d stopped,” Cas said quietly, as he jumped through a similar series of mental acrobatic moves, like a record needle jumping over a scratch and finally miraculously landing in the proper groove. “But then you began insisting on trying to hook me up with random strangers, and I didn’t know what to think anymore.”

“I’ll tell you what to think. I’m a dumbass, that’s what.”

“Dean, we’ve already had this conversation,” Cas replied, taking a tiny shuffling step closer to Dean to glare at him right up close. “You’re not a dumbass. You thought you were being kind, supportive, and caring. And when I didn’t respond the way you hoped or expected, you were content to help me in any way you could.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it  _ content _ , but yeah,” Dean said, as Cas moved closer and he had to readjust his grip on his shoulder. His hand slid around to Cas’s back, and at this point it would’ve almost been easier to just hug him. ”I figured if you couldn’t be happy with me, I could at least help you be happy with someone else.”

“I don’t want anyone else, Dean, but I also wasn’t sure how long I could bear your efforts to push me away, knowing how I felt about you.”

“Yeah, uh… sorry about that,” Dean replied, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment of respite from the sadness he saw in Cas’s eyes. “Told you. Dumbass.”

“No more than I am, then,” Cas said.

“You were just afraid, Cas. I mean, you knew what dropping outta Heaven would mean this time, and I know what I did to you last time that happened. Hell, I was afraid you wouldn’t even want to stick around longer than it would take you to get on your feet. The last thing I wanted to do was scare you off, or seem like I was pressuring you into something you didn’t want because you thought you didn’t have a choice.”

“I made my choice when I left Heaven, Dean.”

Dean stood there letting all of these revelations sink in. He nodded slowly. “Okay, then. What are we waiting for?”

Cas just shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love with someone before. I don’t know the etiquette.”

“I think etiquette went out the window between us years ago, Cas. Day one, probably.”

Cas slowly smiled at that. “You stabbed me. That wasn’t terribly polite.”

“Well, you yelled so loud you nearly exploded a gas station,” Dean replied with a laugh. It had been terrifying at the time, but they could laugh about it now. He figured they’d be able to laugh about this sooner or later, too. He just had to suck it up and get past the terror for a few more seconds. “So, what I mean is what do you wanna do about this now?”

“Do you mean right this second?” Cas asked, shifting even closer and licking his lips nervously.

“I think we’ve been stuck in this second for a while now,” Dean replied with a smirk.

That got Cas’s attention, and he looked up at the sky. The clouds were still hanging motionless above them.

“Is there something more we need to figure out?”

“Can I try something?” Dean asked as Cas lowered his eyes to him again. “Sometimes these things need to be sealed with a kiss, you know? Like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White.”

“Or a demon deal,” Cas replied.

“Hey, at least I was trying to keep it romantic.”

“Are you really likening this to a fairy tale, Dean?”

Dean hesitated for a second, glancing down at Cas’s mouth now that he couldn’t stop himself from wondering what it would be like to kiss him. He shrugged, resting his other hand on Cas’s hip. “This is more of a happily ever after than I ever thought I’d get, so I’ll take it.”

Cas nodded, regarding him seriously and then leaning in to press their lips together. It took a split second before Dean caught up, kissing Cas gently and sweetly before they both pulled back enough to blink at each other in wonder.

“Wow,” Dean said in a rush of breath.

He was about to dive in for a proper kiss when Cas stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Time is still stuck, Dean.”

Dean glanced over Cas’s shoulder and took in the semi he’d seen earlier, looking more like a freaky 3D photograph of a truck driving down the road at 40 miles an hour, a plume of grey smoke lingering at its exhaust pipe. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and then claimed Cas’s lips again. If this wasn’t what Billie had wanted them to figure out, at least they could use their free time wisely. With so much time already lost between them, he couldn’t think of any better way to make up for it.

Cas inhaled a sharp breath in surprise, but it didn’t take him any convincing to get on board with Dean’s plans. They stood there on the sidewalk kissing for a truly timeless period. When they finally pulled apart again, breathless and rumpled, Dean grabbed his hand and began hurrying back toward the diner.

“Where are we going, Dean? What’s going on?” Cas asked, struggling for a second to keep up with Dean's determined pace.

“If Billie’s not gonna start things up again, and she’s not gonna show up and smite us for it, then we’re gonna take full fucking advantage of the situation.”

They arrived at the Impala, slightly short of breath, but every nerve in Dean’s body was on fire. He opened the back door and slid inside, pulling Cas down after him like he’d done in the diner earlier. Cas followed without question, but he had a mystified look on his face until Dean reached up and slid his hand along Cas’s jaw, turning Cas to look at him. Cas’s eyes went wide with understanding, and he dove in, practically tackling Dean to the seat as they squirmed around in the confined space.

Dean had both hands up under Cas’s shirt, holding on and enjoying exploring the warmth of Cas’s skin as Cas writhed above him, trying to get comfortable without breaking their kiss. They were at it long enough that the windows would’ve begun to fog up if it had been possible before they were startled apart by someone clearing their throat in the front seat. Jessica turned around with a raised eyebrow and a restrained smile.

“Hello again,” she said.

“What, are we being punished now?” Dean asked as his blood rushed back to his brain.

“No, Billie wanted me to offer you her congratulations.”

“You know it’s customary to wait until after we’re done for that,” Dean replied.

“I’m a reaper, Dean. When I show up, it usually means everyone’s done.”

Cas grumbled under his breath, but he didn’t move. He was still pressing Dean down to the seat with the weight of his body. At least Dean’s power of snark had completely recovered.

“So Billie didn’t stop the world because she wanted us to get off?”

Jessica smiled and tilted her head, looking at Dean like he was a toddler who’d said something profound. “She asked me to remind you that she’s still holding the cosmos in stasis for you, and that she’d appreciate it if you remembered that you have private rooms at the bunker. She’s giving you just enough time to make yourselves presentable and return to your places before everything starts up again.”

Cas frowned at her. “We’re a six hour drive from the bunker.”

Jessica shrugged. “There are a number of places between here and there where you can rent a room if you decide you can’t make it home, but Billie didn’t go to all this trouble to have you both arrested for public indecency the second you figured it out. Besides, how are you gonna explain walking back into that diner when everyone else inside never saw you leave?”

“You make a valid series of points,” Cas replied, frowning as he slowly, grudgingly climbed off Dean.

Dean groaned his dissatisfaction, but sat up and straightened out his clothes. “Fine, whatever. We waited ten years, I guess we can wait another six hours.”

Jessica nodded in satisfaction, smirking at the dejected look on Dean’s face. “Good. Now enjoy your lunch, try not to weird out your brother too much, and drive safely. It would be a shame if you needed another visit from me before you got a chance to consummate your relationship.”

With that, she poofed out, leaving Dean and Cas sitting in the back seat blinking at nothing.

“I guess we should get back inside,” Dean said, turning his stunned face to Cas. “How the hell are we gonna explain this to Sam?”

Cas just shrugged. “I suppose we should tell him the truth. He’ll probably be relieved to have something more interesting to do over lunch than watching you awkwardly goad me into flirting with the waitstaff.”

“Hey, I wasn’t awkward,” Dean protested, but Cas raised an eyebrow at him and Dean held up his hands in concession. “Fine, whatever,” Dean agreed, following after Cas as they climbed out of the car.

Dean shut the door and pulled Cas in for another quick kiss, draping his arm around Cas’s shoulders as they made their way back to the diner. He was quiet for a moment, but then asked, “Do you think you’d mind not sleeping in your own bed tonight?”

Cas stopped walking, pulling Dean to a stop in front of the diner’s door. “Are you considering stopping before we get home?”

“No, Cas. I thought maybe you’d wanna sleep in my bed… with me…” Dean trailed off as doubt creeped back up on him.

Cas’s eyes went wide, but he nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Good, good,” Dean said, relieved, and then reached out to pull open the door.

They made their way back to their booth, Cas stopping to spread a napkin on the spaghetti-eating woman’s lap along the way. Dean hoped that small act wouldn’t change the fate of the world, but it would definitely change the course of that woman’s day. Dean pulled Cas down beside him, but this time there wasn’t any ulterior motive. He just wanted Cas by his side, always. They fidgeted around, trying to approximate the exact positions they’d been in before Billie had stopped the world. Dean did take an extra few seconds to make sure Cas got one last look at the glare of intense disapproval on Sam’s face.

“He’ll be happier as soon as time restarts,” Cas said, with something like fond pity in his voice.

Dean reached up and grabbed Cas’s chin, turning him for one last quick kiss. “One more for the road.”

“You can kiss me again after we explain what happened to Sam, before we get back on the road.”

“Yeah, Cas, I know. It’s just… once time restarts, it’s gonna feel like forever until we actually get there.”

Cas smiled at him, and Dean bumped his shoulder against Cas’s. Billie must’ve thought that was good enough, because the noises of the diner whooshed back to life. Sam made a choking, coughing noise and then squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. A muffled noise of surprise came from the next booth over, followed by a confused noise of relief as the woman noticed the spaghetti sauce drop had landed safely on a napkin instead of on her skirt. Dean couldn’t help his little snort of laughter, and he beamed at Cas before they both turned concerned looks on Sam.

“You all right there, Sammy?” Dean asked. “Something feel a little bit off?”

Sam was now rubbing his eyes, but he lowered his hands to resume glaring at Dean. “Yeah, what the hell? It’s like the two of you… shifted from one second to the next. I can’t explain it, but it’s like a lost a second or two of time there.”

“More like an hour or two,” Dean said, and then reconsidered. “Or more like me and Cas gained an hour or two on you.”

Dean could see Cas nodding out the corner of his eye, but Sam just continued frowning at both of them.

“It’s a long story,” Cas offered.

“I've got nothing but time,” Sam said cautiously.

Dean snorted again as Cas picked up his Dr. Pepper and took a sip, relishing the clinking of the ice cubes in the glass as much as the twenty three flavors.

“Cas and I had a little adventure outside of time, courtesy of Billie.”

Sam frowned harder. “Billie? What did I miss? And please don’t tell me we have to save the multiverse again.”

“Nah, I think she wants us to enjoy our retirement from multidimensional universe saving,” Dean replied. “And, uh, there’s been a major development on the Find Cas A Date front. Mostly that he’s already found one.”

Cas set his drink down and smiled at Dean, and Dean smiled back. Sam let that sink in for a minute, letting the whole thing process through until the mental bell dinged for him. He nodded slowly and then frowned again.

“Okay… congrats, I guess. I mean, finally. But I think you left out a huge part of that story.”

Dean laughed again, draping an arm around Cas’s shoulders and pulling him close. They had all the time in the world.

❂❂❂❂❂❂

Sam held to his word and let Cas ride in the front seat the rest of the way home. He did his best to give Dean and Cas what little privacy he could, putting his headphones on and doing his best to feign sleep most of the way. They stopped for dinner at a fast food joint about an hour from the bunker, and when they finally pulled into the garage Dean let out a triumphant sigh. He didn’t even bother to grab his bag out of the trunk.

“We’ll get our stuff in the morning,” he told Cas as he pulled him by the hand. He called back over his shoulder to Sam, “Night, Sammy.”

They heard Sam blearily reply, but they were already out the door and down the hall. It might've been impossible to make up for ten years lost, but they could sure as hell try. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again, and thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Kudos are always appreciated. For more like this, please see my other works here on AO3, or come visit me on tumblr. I'm [mittensmorgul](mittensmorgul.tumblr.com).
> 
> [The direct link for the tumblr post for this fic can be found here](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/180119878540/rating-t-characters-castiel-dean-winchester). Thanks!


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